Steve Heinīs Personal Site

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Introduction

Some of My Beliefs

Some Stories From My Travels Around the World

PDF of Steve's Book EQ for Everybody - Condensed Version

Video of Me When I Had the Hostel In Montenegro

Some Links

April 2012 Note - I had some problems with the EQI site being down so I started to make some backups here. (under construction)


Introduction

For the past 10 years or so I have been traveling around the world. I have now been to about 60 countries. I believe I have a lot of experience to share with people. I share many of these experiences freely on my main website EQI.org. I have also been doing a lot of volunteer work, particulary with emotionally abused youth. From them I have learned a lot about emotional intellignce and emotional abuse.

On this site I have some of my beliefs and a few other miscellaneous things. I do most of my writing on the EQI site shown above. Besides emotional intelligence (both as I see it and as others are marketing it) and emotional abuse I write about a lot of other things, many of which I wish I had been taught something useful about in school, such as how to listen to someone, and how to express my feelings in a healthier way.

S. Hein

Some of My Beliefs

To me, the highest goal for all of us is survival. It does not matter what color we are, what gender or what "nationality" we are. We are all to here to work together to increase the chances that the human species will survive.

The best way to do that, I believe, is to help each other, not hurt each other. This is why I am opposed to war and punishment. I do not believe these are the ways to improve human life on earth. Nor do I think they are in line with the general trend of evolution.

I believe the reason people do things which we commonly refer to as sick and criminal is generally a result of their unmet emotional needs.

Instead of the concept of human "rights", I believe it is more accurate and more helpful to think in terms of individual needs. See Human Rights vs Individual Needs

I also believe we are here to solve problems -- problems which interfere with the survival of the species. The more problems we solve as adults the fewer we pass on to children

Here are more on my thoughts for a new belief system and what I believe is the general trend of evolution.


Some of my beliefs about children

  • They have a very accurate sense of injustice
  • They are good judges of character
  • Children are born empathetic, approval seeking, forgiving and cooperative. Rebellious and defiant children, like terrorists, are created not born. I don't believe children are born "evil" or born "sinners"
  • Each child has a different set of emotional needs. Children are more different emotionally than physically.
  • They naturally want to share things with adults, and they will continue to share things openly till they are punished or hurt for sharing.
  • They will naturally tell the truth unless adults have frightened them into lying.
  • They need lots of physical touch and emotional acknowledgment and validation. Much more than they commonly get.
  • They all have a natural need to feel helpful, as well as the other natural human emotional needs which I have listed.

Some of my beliefs about teenagers

  • Teens have too little influence and control over their own lives.
  • Adults need to earn the respect of teenagers. Respect is not the same as fear, and it is not the same as obedience.
  • To earn their respect, adults must respect the teens' feelings, needs, beliefs, ideas and dreams. They also must help fill the teens' individual needs, recognizing that each teen is different.
  • The ideas, beliefs,dreams and feelings of teens are important and valuable to society. They can help guide us to a more humane world.
  • Very few people really take teenagers seriously.
  • Teenagers around the world are being over-socialized to adopt the same beliefs as the adults in their particular country, instead of being given exposure to other beliefs and value systems. This creates divisions in the world which lead to wars and international conflicts.

Some of my beliefs about education

  • Children have a natural need and desire to learn, to explore, to experiment, to ask questions and to discover
  • The teacher is there to meet the child's needs, not the other way around.
  • The child's needs, therefore, are more important than the teacher's.
  • The teacher's emotions affect the student's emotions.
  • The student's emotions affect his ability and desire to learn.
  • Many teachers, perhaps the majority, in traditional schools have significant unmet needs to feel powerful, important, respected, appreciated, valued, and in control.
  • These unmet needs hinder their ability to help their students develop personally, emotionally and intellectually
  • The best teachers have the fewest unmet emotional needs (UEN's). The worst teachers have the most UEN's.
  • Teachers must earn the respect of their students. They can not demand it.
  • Respect, fear and obedience are often confused. Respect is earned, then given voluntarily. Fear and obedience are forced.
  • Each child is unique emotionally; all children are not created equal when it comes to the emotional brain, therefore....
  • Each child must be treated individually, especially with regard to his or her feelings.
  • Individuality should be a higher goal of education than conformity.
  • Emotional invalidation is one of the worst assaults against individuality.
  • Repeated invalidation is emotional abuse, and it is common in traditional schools.
  • Education is ideally more about learning than teaching. It should not be about obedience or about creating "good citizens" of the state.
  • The highest goal of education is facilitating happiness, which comes from self-motivation, self-direction, self-discipline, self-confidence, and self-esteem.
  • Many schools are out of balance towards grades, test scores, conformity, control, obedience, rules, threats and punishments.
  • One way to reverse this trend is for parents to support alternative schools, and to encourage their children to question authority while focusing on learning.

Also - I believe travel is one of the best types of education. I encourage all young people to travel as early in their lives as possible, and as often as possible.

 

 

 


Links

Jonny Lewis - Photographer

Fabio Pulito, Italian Writer & Traveler-

Nospank.net - Child/Teen advocacy site

http://www.michaelmoore.com Michael Moore- critic of the USA

http://www.alfiekohn.org/ Educational reform

Ike Glatz - German artist I met in Australia

 

 

 

 

 

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