Notes from a school in Galway, Ireland
Sept. 2002
Today as I was riding my bike through a park I met some students from a couple of secondary schools in Galway. They were around 16 years old. They had a half day off so they had plenty of time to talk. Some were sitting on a park bench, some were standing and some were sitting on the ground. We started talking about their schools. One school was an all girls school. The other was an all boys school. One of the first questions I asked was how they liked their schools. "Not at all" was the consensus answer.
I asked them what would make school better. The answers were: co-ed, no uniforms, longer lunch breaks, more understanding teachers, shorter classes, less homework.
I asked one of the girls to type things down for me, which she did. Later she had to go and another girl took over the typing. What I have written here is based on their notes.
We talked about the school counselor at the girls school. They said: "He is no good. He tells you what you should do and what you shouldn't do. He doesn't keep things to himself. He discusses it with other teachers. He betrays trust and confidentialialty. He is supposed to be someone you can talk to about personal problems but ht is only an academic counselor and no one would want to talk to him if they were depressed, for example."
One girl said she used to cut herself. She showed me some scars. Two of the girls said they each knew two others who cut. The one who showed me her scars said her father hit her and her mother and has gotten in trouble for it.
I asked them how many of the girls had been slapped by their parents. 3 said yes and 3 said no.
I asked how many of the boys had been hit by their fathers. 2 had been and 2 hadn't.
One had been hit with a belt.
I asked them if they thought it was okay to hit a child. Here are the responses:
Yes - 2
No - 4
It depends - 4
During the conversation we learned that "one fella's grandfather threw a knife at him because he was too loud while he was watching the news. He then told the boy not to cry or else he'd stab him."
He showed me the scar.
One of the girls said if her child hit her, she would hit the child back. She seeme to imply that she would do this to teach the child it was not okay to hit people.
I also asked if any of the teachers ever talked about whether it was right to hit or slap children or teens. They said no, it was never discussed in school.
I asked if they ever discussed conflict resolution in school. "No."
I asked if they were learning anything of immediate practical relevance, such as how to handle relationships with their boyfriends . The consensus was no, but they did talk about relationships their religion class and in their SPHE class (social and personal health education). They said that SPHE did not go into enough detail or give enough information.
I asked "What's the most useful thing you've learned in school over the past 12 months?" They said one teacher told them "Fuck the Junior Cert." (The Junior Cert is some kind of a test which evidently doesn't really mean anything but causes a lot of stress.) I assume this teacher was saying that there are more important things in life than worrying about passing a test. The students seemed to know this was true, so that is why they said it was the most useful thing they had learned. They laughed about it, but I think they knew there was a lot of truth in what the teacher said.
While we were talking one couple was kissing. They told me that if they kissed on school property they would get in trouble. The consensus was that this was ridiculous. They would also get in trouble for just holding hands.
That night I met a couple in their twenties from France and told them about my talk with the teens. They told me that no one would care if a couple was kissing on school property in France, and that almost none of the schools required uniforms. Uniforms are not required in most of the countries I have visited or heard about this summer. For example, they are not required in Austria, Belgium, Denmark, Germany, Holland, Luxembourg, Slovak, Switzerland.
The girls were more serious in answering my questions. The boys were making a lot of jokes, and two of them were wrestling on the ground for a while. The boys seemed to feel uncomfortable with the topics, so I think this is why they were joking and teasing each other. They said for example that one of the boys had slept with one of the teachers. The boy denied it, but my hunch was that he did based on his reaction and the way the other boys said it. Because they were all laughing, boasting and insulting each other it was hard to tell what was true and what wasn't.
There was a lot more freedom at the school the boys went to. It was a technical/trade school. No uniforms for example.
I asked if any of them had had sex yet and they all said no one had, not even the couple that was kissing. I couldn't tell if they were being honest though because again they making jokes about it.
While we talked about 4 of them smoked at one point or another.
We talked a little about parents and teaches telling people to stop crying. I asked if they would ever tell their own kids to stop crying. One boy said, "what we say is what doesnt kill you makes you stronger." I told them I think we need less "strong" people and more sensitive people. One of the girls agreed, but most of them looked like this was a strange concept to them.
Here are some more of their notes:
"In girls schools they have to wear shoes and wear runners to school and change into black school shoes. If they don't wear black shoes they'd get detention."
"We are not allowed to use the Internet at school because they are afraid we will look at pornography."
"They have to have several offences befor they get detention. The detention is in a class room supervised by the vice principle."
"If you do one thing against the school rules you get a bad name."
"One girl in our school went to the counciler in confidence about a personal matter. He went to a student and repeated what the girl had told him in confidence."
"Once a teacher took a girl's personal note to her friend and read it. Then she showed it to the principal. She got in trouble and since then they have never liked the girl and that was a year ago."
"One girl who was smoking said her mother told her that if she caught her smoking again she wouldn't let her out of the house for three months."
"A girl skipped classes to go and get the morning after pill with her friend, they got caught skipping classes and the friends mum rang the school to explain why the girl wasn't in school and the vice priciple rang the other girls mum and told her she was up getting the morning pill, then she got in a lot of trouble."
"Mrs. Stokes is the worst teacher. She verbally abuses us. She says things like 'Are you stupid?!' Once told a girl that the girl's mother was an old hag.
"The vice principal is fake. No one likes her. The principal is okay but if we tell him about the vice-principal or the bad teachers, the principal he does nothing, because they are his colleagues. We have no say about the teachers."
"If we would really try to complain, like to write down our complaints, they would make our lives miserable."
"We are called the "Prezzy Lezzies" because our school is all girls and it is called 'Presentation Secondary School'"
They told me I could use the real name of the teacher and vice-principal, Mrs. O'Flaherty, who drives a Mercedes. I admired them for this. It is my hope that more teens will tell me what is really happening in their schools and homes and let me publish people's real names. To keep things "fair," I probably will let the schools tell me their side of the story if they want to.
I don't like the way teens are treated around the world. It seems to be worse in some countries than others, just like the suicide rate is higher in some countries than others. My guess is that the more freedom the teens have, the less likely they are to get depressed or kill themselves. If anyone knows about any research on this, please let me know.
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